I love Sweden, yes I do...

I love Sweden, how 'bout you?

In past posts, I have celebrated my English and German ancestory, which I inherited from both of my parents. However, this post will be dedicated to all that is good. All that is holy. In other words, all that is Swedish. Sorry, Mom. After you read this post, you will wish that you had some Swedish blood, too...

A few days ago, I was once again fruitlessly trying on pants at a French clothing store. It's good for my ego. Many American women are torturing themselves with an odious book called French Women Don't Get Fat. What it should be titled is, French Women, who are Genetically Predisposed to Look Like 12-year-old Boys, Maintain Their Hyper-Thinness with Anorexia and Nicotine Addictions. But that wouldn't sell well, would it?

You can not (trust me) imagine my joy when, while boarding a flight to Stockholm, I discovered normal sized people. Out of the 30 people working in my office, I'm #4 in height. While in Sweden, every man I met was significantly taller than me.

I'm moving to Sweden.

Jen and I decided that the essence of Sweden could be described by the surroundings of our hotel. It had a Volvo dealer on one side, a McDonalds on another, and a big red barn and a field of grazing cows out back. In one direction, Swedish engineering, in another, openness to foreigners (yes, that's how I'm taking the McDonalds), and a love of their hertiage. I'm honored to carry a Swedish name, although I will pass it off as English when it is convenient to do so. :) In honor of my fabulous 12 hours just outside of Stockholm, I will give you my "Ode to all Things Swedish," in list form.

healthy-looking, non-midget people
abundance of electrical outlets
Conan O'Brien and BBC-TV
cleanliness
happy, shiny people smiling
IKEA
Volvo
cleanliness
Swedish-chef accents
gorgeous Nordic scenery
red barns
cleanliness
happy people
cleanliness
friendly people
cleanliness
tall people
cleanliness ...

Future blog entries will continue my Nordic/Baltic adventures, including the tale of a 2 hour trek in a converted Westphalia van with four Lithuanian men, including a sailor returning to duty, while being driven by a petite blonde woman with nails that put Jackie Joyner Kersey to shame, and an attitude that would bowl over the average boot camp sargeant.

But those stories will wait.