It's been a long time. Sorry. I haven't been blogging because I have both too much and too little going on in my life: too little accomplished, too much in my heart.
I think that if I started trying to explain it all, I'd write some melodramatic mush that would embarass me soon and very soon. The bottom-line is this: I moved back to northern California to live with my parents. I'm in the midst of a series of job interviews with one organization, but I'm not sure if I want to work for them or not--therefore I'm having trouble writing my letter of intent, since I don't know my intent... I'm also thinking of an entirely different profession, which would involve going back to school for a year. Really? Ugh.
I don't want to find a new church, I don't want to find a new small group, I don't want to find new friends.
So, to save you from any more whining, here are a series of quotes that have caught my fancy recently. Think of them as a word-collage.
---- - - - ---- ------
God gives us his light in an instant, allowing us to know all that we need to know. No more is given to us than is necessary in his plan to lead us to perfection ... If we try to know more than we have been made to know, we will accomplish nothing.
--Catherine of Genoa
[Talking to his psychiatrist about going to his high school reunion]
Marty: They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"
--John Cusack in Grosse Pointe Blank
Mr. Robinson was a polished sort of person. He was so clean and healthy and pleased about everything that he positively shone--which is only to be expected in a fairy or an angel, but is somewhat disconcerting in an attorney.
--Susanna Clarke in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell
All my friends, all live in pain.
Longing for the warmth of childhood,
to bring them home again.
All my friends got broken hearts.
And if the world's a stage,
we're searching for our parts.
All my friends got broken wings.
never will you hear them asking why,
the cage bird sings.
All my friends,they know how to live.
oh so much sorrow, so much love to give.
--Amos Lee, selected lyrics of "All My Friends"
9 years ago
6 comments:
I too am in the middle of looking for a new job and moving from New Jersey, I don't want to find a new church and I don't want any friends either. We are between churches at the moment. We were torn from the church family we had as I was terminated from my position as Pastor of Worship and Arts. So we lost our passion, income, ministry, friends, all in one fell swoop. Since we have a few things in common I thought you might enjoy a little conversation. Don't take me wrong, I am married but I saw some similarities in our experiences and thought we could compare notes and maybe encourage each other. Just a thought.
I'm always open to encouragement, although I'm trying to limit my complaining. (Not that I'm succeeding, but I am trying.) I think one of my email addresses is listed under my profile. If not, leave yours buried as a comment somewhere deep in the recesses of the blog and it'll pop into my inbox. Thanks for writing!
yeah, sometimes life sucks. i'm with ya. and i think complaining is allowed. if you used the word "venting" or "dumping on", would it be more acceptable? i know the Bible says "complain about nothing" but when we're in the valley, it's awfully hard not to.
btw, love the picture on your blog.
Ah John Cusak... love the "I killed the President of Paraguay with a fork" reference. For some reason, I thought I could add, "oh yeah, well I photographed the dictator of Belarus with a digital camera and had it confiscated!"
Amen to your desire not to complain - I'm trying not to either, but enormous "venting" has been required lately, if only to keep the steam from building up and causing greater damage later!
Fear not, sweet Annie about burdening your friends with your season of change. I'm just happy to get an update on your life--it worries me when this great blog sits non-updated for too long! Glad to know where you are, how to pray, and that you are still fighting the good fight, walking through the too much and too little, holding onto to faith and being honest. You rock, girl.
Yeah! My friends make me feel loved! Thanks for all the encouraging comments.
No, YOU rock! :)
And thanks for the photo comment, Dawn. I often have no confidence in my opinions of stuff I've created.
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