"... And [dating is] all just so unoriginal. ... I’ve seriously had it with ... the Gore-Tex Vegetarian With Bicycle, the reigning King of Irony with his collection of Kool-Aid memorabilia, the balding (Swears He’s Not The Boring Kind Of) Computer Guy, ... and especially the Smirking Self-Professed Feisty-Girl-Liker who is secretly afraid of every woman except his mom."
I have gone on at least one date with:
1. Defensive About Not Finishing College Guy
2. Thinks The Biggest Problem Facing Today’s Progressive Is Browser Compatibility Guy
3. I Am An Endless Series Of Lectures On Organic Produce And The Pharmaceutical Cartel Guy
4. No, He Likes You, He Just Doesn’t, Um, Talk Much Guy
5. Has No Sense Of Humor About Getting Salsa On His Pants Guy
6. I’m A [Jerk] And Therefore It Gives Me A Right To ACT Like A [Jerk] Guy
7. Wouldn’t You Like To Stay On As My Emergency Backup Girl While I Date A Series Of Obviously Unsuitable Women? Guy
8. I Only Tell You How Much You [Stink] For Your Own Good Guy
9. I Just Want To Be As Honest As I Can Guy
10. I Don’t Know Where You Got The Impression That I Really Liked You When All I Did Was Tell You I Really Liked You Guy
I've been friends or coworkers with:
11. I’ll Pick A Fight With You Because Girls Love That Guy
12. Gets All His Current Events Information From Watching Fox News While Eating Froot Loops Guy
13. Just Let Me Take This Emergency Conference Call On My Cell Phone Headset While I’m Buying A Sesame Seed Bagel Guy
14. Doesn’t Watch TV Guy
I admit to being the female counterpart of:
15. Can Taste The Tears Of The Downtrodden In Every Cup Of Starbucks Coffee Guy
16. I Don’t Quite Live With My Parents But I Have All Their Old Furniture Guy
7 comments:
I'm so glad you found this (I bet I know how!) because I was going to have to draw your attention to the hilarity of the "gore-tex vegetarian" comment sooner or later.
I did laugh at this post though I am commenting to let you know I changed my blog to just mutestreet.blogspot instead of mutestreetphotos. you know, so my link still works for mom. hurray!
Jen--Ah yes, the Gore-Tex Vegetarian With Bicycle era is definitely one I'm trying to forget. Although, I do owe him quite alot for my knowledge of marathon running, water viscosity and proper clean-up procedures for river pollution: topics I have found useful when meeting other Gore-tex wearing cyclists.
D--change made. I told Mom you had changed your address and she said, "make sure you change your link so I can still visit him." Happy to be the familial link-er!
Hi.
Great post. I think it would be therapeutic for me to figure out where my former guy goes. So many choices. Any thoughts?
Mostly, I have to leave a comment about how awesome your cluster map is. So many dots, in so many cool places!
Ummm...I'm not sure if I'm really supposed to answer, but it seems pretty clear your former is a mix of numbers 2, 4, and 10.
Thanks for the cluster map comment! It really is one of my more obnoxious measures of self-worth.
Hahahahahahaha. Ah, thanks for sharing some funny memories. I really needed to laugh today.
G--
My favorite thing about this post is those of you who have commented, and remembering different guys from different eras of my life. For instance, the comment I made to Jen about Gore-tex Cyclists refers to someone from grad school, but it equally fits someone I used to spend a great deal of time with at your 24-hour New Year's parties. In fact, he and I had a running "discussion" about his being a #6 at the last of those parties. I *think* it was tongue-in-cheek? It certainly was for me! :) Of course, he's also a 3, 7, 11, 12, 14, and 16! :)
Men! Gotta love 'em. Can't live without 'em.
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