Deception

Blogging is deceptive.

I'm sitting in an overstuffed chair, listening to fans spinning, airplanes circling (living near the beach means planes fly banners overhead all summer), and Jake panting in the July heat. (Don't worry--he has plenty of water and shade, he's just too curious to take advantage of it.) Patrice (my roommate) is puttering, and this entry seems private and limited to time and place.

Until I post it on the internet.

So, what do I want to put out for family, friends, acquaintances and total strangers to read ... Hmmm... To be discussed further, later.

Life is about to turn upside-down for me: not only moving continents and cultures, but leaving behind San Clemente, dear friends, and a church and workplace where I feel loved and needed.

God has always provided community for me in every stage of my life, even though I have never yet been in one place for more than two years. And I know that He will do it again. But it's hard to rev up enough energy to trust Him that much. But, trusting God isn't so much about a decision, as a lifestyle. Or, rather, it is a decision to let go of what I hold dear, knowing that He can take much better care of those things than I can.

Recently, I was talking about trust and miracles with a group of people, only to find out later that some of them are working through levels of pain and confusion that I can't even imagine. Yet I have to know that God is real and capable even in those instances when I am lost and drowning. Especially those instances...

OK--enough for now.

Happy Fourth!
Annie.