Wow! This is your lucky day. Y'see, I rarely post my own thoughts, usually it's links, quotes, etc. (but DO check out the Bono link below--it's way better than whatever I'm about to type.)
I hope the following comes out right, and not too self-involved, but several moments have converged upon me and made me think...
1. At work on Monday one of the tech guys, in a conversation about glasses and braces, said that he doubted I was ever a nerd.
2. I just checked out my SC church's website and saw a picture of a girl I have always considered to be the pinnacle of style and beauty wearing glasses just like mine.
3. When I was in jr. high I was harrassed/abused by our pastor's kid so much that I went home crying 2 or 3 days a week. Not only did I have to deal with him at school, but also at church and youthgroup. Telling on him made the abuse worse, so I usually kept my mouth shut. I came out of those years convinced I was ugly, fat and a TOTAL nerd. It wasn't until college that I started to get an inkling that maybe I wasn't a social reject, and not until after college did I start to understand that I might be...whatever the opposite of a nerd is.
And so I am wondering...
How do we combat the lies in our own lives and in the lives of the children we love? How do we give them a taste of their "coolness," and that they, as unique creations of the King, cannot be nerdy, dorky or whatever pejorative haunts them. Or, in other words, how do we teach kids and ourselves to reclaim words like "nerd" to mean something positive and strengthening?
I no longer think I am a nerd, at least not in any negative sense. Although the braces are long gone, I still wear glasses and spend a good deal of my life with my nose in a book. But God gave me weak eyes and a strong curiousity, and I don't feel bad about either of those things anymore.
So, was I a nerd in jr. high and high school? I don't know how to answer that. I was an insecure, fashion-challenged klutz with glasses and braces who loved to read and whose vocabulary showed it. In the last ten years I've gotten a bit more graceful, and definitely more fashion-conscious, but in essence I'm the same person. Maybe it's all about confidence...
I have no tidy ending here, but I'd love your thoughts. How would you end this post?
9 years ago
5 comments:
I am a nerd and I am beautiful, and I am happy with that. We have to own our nerdiness, then I think we can grow without giving it up. I know you still love books, words and the history of words.
A nerd is really a term to peg a person who is just very knowledgable in one area, which isn't much of a negative thing. A geek, though, is still slightly negative as it seems to refer to a person who seems to lack the socials skills deemed normal by the majority. Nerds and geeks wind up doing well and running the show behind the scenes. Bill Gates for example. The popular ones end up always wishing things could be like they had it in high school.
I think sometimes God gives us things like braces and glasses to protect us in this insane world. I mean, come on, we all know what things the popular people were doing. I have to confess, I'm truly praying that (like his Dad) Isaac will play in the marching band and will have official nerd status. His wife will appreciate it later... :)
Alicia, you're hilarious. In 15 years I'll tell Isaac that his mother prayed he'd be a nerd. :) But, nevertheless, I agree with you and "anonymous." Popularity in high school can be a dangerous, dangerous thing.
Well, as one who is married to both a geek and a nerd (c'mon...he's a retired band geek, took all AP classes in high school and is now a computer programmer), I will say that they are not always bad attributes for grown-ups. However, it must still be said that we always want what we can't have. I would have given anything to have braces AND glasses when I was in junior high. As Jill said, I wanted everything that made her self-conscious at that age.
But, as a youth group leader, I am always careful to make sure that I complement all of our girls, telling them that they are beautiful (which is SO the truth...I'm so jealous that these girls never had an awkward stage!) and show an active interest in the things that interest them. One of our girls loves bugs, and knows that that is un-cool, and she's kind of self-conscioius about it, but Ken and I both encourgage her in it, and point out that it's great to be able to have an interest in something different. Believe me...I still have to admit to our youth group that my favorite music is Broadway musicals. That really puts me a couple notches lower in their minds (especially the freshman boys). It's liberating to know that I don't have to fear their judgement, but it's a lot harder when you're being judged by your peers. At an early age, I think it's more about people trying to convince you that you're not a nerd, and that's what helps build our confidence when we grow up.
By the way, Annie...about being more graceful...c'mon...let's be real... ;)
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