Shouldn't be blogging...

I should know by now not to blog much after dinner time, because I tend to get a little too melancholy and "real." Oh well, life has been only too real recently, and so it goes.

I've been home a month now, although it feels like an eternity. I really feel that God is opening doors for me to live down south, but I don't feel an urgency to make that transition quickly. I've changed alot in the past year, mostly in ways I don't quite yet understand. But one of the most noticeable differences is an incredible lack of urgency. I'm not in a hurry to do anything. And I feel no guilt for not leaving the house for days on end. Now, before some of you start whispering "depression," that's not quite it. Depression is something I know quite well--and this isn't it. This is something like a sabbatical, a well-earned respite from life. It may not be officially sanctioned by any governing body, but who cares?

Those of you who have lived near me know that I can push myself really hard and that I expect far too much of myself. Well, watch out! Annie is slowing down ... at least for now.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm making another international trip in a couple weeks. On my earlier trips, I had grand notions of saving the world and serving God to my fullest. This trip is different: quiter, warmer, slower. I believe in what we're doing, but the "mission" isn't my driving force. I'm going because it feels like a natural book-end to my 3 and a 1/2 years of "international life." Before I put some roots down, before I sign a work contract, before I start laying the foundation of a new life, I need to formally end the last one with people I trust, with whom I feel safe, and with whom I have history.

This isn't a farewell to my friends with whom I'm traveling, but a good-bye to a lifestyle that I'm choosing to leave.

I hope to travel lots more throughout my life, but I want a home. And I'm content to be a backer of "international workers," without having to be one myself.

They say that the best person to serve a community is a local. With that logic, I believe that the best place for me to serve is where I am a local--or at least a national. :)

There's lots more slowly ker-lumping through my brain--like heavy blankets in a dryer--and if they ever come out neat and tidy I'll share them with you too!