If that's the worst ...

Last night at church, I talked to people about a couple ministries: one a Bible study and one an "outreach." The outreach-man was very personable and kind and I felt like I had been communicated with. The Bible-Study-girl, however, ignored me until she had finished a ridiculously long "oh my gosh!" (insert piercing inflection) conversation with one of her friends, and then talked at me with a wide pasted-on smile and glazed eyes which only came in focus when she saw someone she recognized over my shoulder.

My biggest complaint about this church as a whole, and this age-specific fellowship within it, is that everyone is so ridiculously HAPPY. It's frightening. It's creating within me an irrational fear of clowns and children's tv show hosts. And beneath this hyper-happiness is ... nothing?

Some of this is just Americanism. When we get nervous--from stage fright or from meeting a stranger--we get happy and our voices go up an octave. I get that.

I'm looking for reality. I'm looking for people are honest with their emotions. I'm looking for people who will admit that they are mad at God and aren't talking to Him right now, or that they are so in love with Him that they can't think of anything/one else. I've been in both places. They are both REAL. The hypnotized happiness of some of the people I meet at church is not real. It's robotic. And it's frightening.

I'm a life-long church goer, and a committed Christ-follower, but sometimes these people make me want to forsake the believing community entirely. If they are this repulsive to ME, what are they doing to people who are still trying to decide what they think of Christ? I don't see much of Jesus in the hyper-happiness of many American churches.

My dad says that the greatest proof of God is that the Church still exists. God continues to draw people to Himself despite the Church's idiocy.

On the other hand, overwhelming happiness isn't exactly the worst thing in the world. So maybe I should just get over it...