Responses, please!

The article titled "The Case for Early Marriage" has been getting alot of play recently. I'm hearing responses from two main categories: my fellow singletons nearing or past 30 and the 18-19 -year-old crowd who just found out a friend has become engaged to his girlfriend of 8 weeks.

Needless to say, these two demographics have greatly different perspectives. I'm putting this on my blog because said 18-year-old engaged friend is one of my facebook friends and I don't want to involve that crowd in this discussion (for professional reasons, they are all former students).

I completely agree that there is a numerical disparity between available quality men and women. I also agree that it would probably be better for us all if people were willing to get married younger. But, I am a 31-year-old single woman who has never met someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Or, rather, I've never been in a situation where that feeling was mutual. Maybe the author would say that the reason it was never mutual was because one of us was being unreal in our expectations and had an erroneous idea that "waiting for someone better" was a reasonable thought.

However, I also think that truly early marriage--such as my 18 -year-old friend is planning--is often unwise. I am 100% different than I was at 18 (and my changes have been for the better, I believe). But any man who committed to marry me at 18 could honestly say now, 12 years in, "She isn't the woman I married." I love the way I have changed, but I would consider his complaint reasonable.

Maybe I am creating an argument, as the author never suggested 18, but instead tended to use 22 as an example of a young marriage. But, I could write the preceding paragraph about myself at 22 with equal honesty.

We all change as we mature, and I know that if I ever get married both he and I will change from the people we were when we said "I do." But to put a stamp of approval on all young marriages seems a bit foolhardy. I know far too many people who married young (and foolish) who regret their choice and wish they had waited.

But, it's not all about how we change. It's also about the wisdom to chose a suitable spouse. While I know some who have married before 22 and are living happily ever after, they are the strong minority. From my second-hand experience, it seems that those who marry post-22 face less marital discord than those who marry pre-22. And, the most miserable people I know are those caught in unhappy marriages. Single and lonely is an incomparably better life than married and lonely.

I have a very biased opinion. Any other thoughts out there to balance my perspective?